Triumph today launched yet another tasty looking motorcycle in a glittering ceremony where strangely Gul Panag was invited but I was not.

The Thruxton R is basically a Bonneville on steroids, and a motorcycle that can only be described by using emo oxymorons like “neo-retro” and “modern-classic”. Behind the blinding lights and big words, it’s a bike made to look like something manufactured in the summer of 69, and then cryogenically frozen, only to be reanimated in 2016, and crammed full of all the rider tech that got you burnt alive for witchcraft back in those days.

The 1200cc “high-power” engine belts out just a little under 100 horses and 112 Nm of torque, both of which are pretty respectable figures, unless they are European values and us peasants are getting some shitty detuned versions, in which case we’ll have to wait for the sting operation on Team-bhp, followed by an awkwardly long silence and some peanuts from Triumph.

Priced at 10.9 lacs ex-showroom Delhi, the Thruxton R is now the comfortable king of cafe racers in India, if you forget about the BMW R nineT, which you should since it costs roughly 3 times what the Thruxton R does, and doesn’t come with many of the electronic goodies too. The only other option left is the Royal Enfield Continental GT, and common, even a rabid squirrel with Aspergers isn’t going to spend money on that pile of garbage.

Do keep in mind though the 10.9 lacs gets you just the basic bike, if you want the full bling, Triumph has a bunch of accessories that you can shop for. Of course it’s common knowledge that Triumph is basically run like Krusty Krab, and their accessories are priced like Krabby Patties, excessively and arbitrarily. I tried to search a bit but couldn’t find the pricing for that beautiful cockpit fairing, or the Vance & Hines exhaust system, or the double seat, so it’s safe to assume the numbers are going to make your eyes moist.

My legendary humour aside, it’s quite a looker. The bit that I love the most is the radiator, tucked away beautifully inside the frame tubes, unlike the one on the Harley Davidson Street 750, that reminds you of a slab of butter plastered on a fat ass. The level of craftsmanship looks top-notch, and hopefully the aesthetics will be accompanied by customer satisfaction too, something that’s been missing for quite a few Triumph owners.

And by the looks of it, things will either be awesome, or go completely to shit. Here’s a look at all the goodies that you get with this thing:

  1. ABS
  2. Traction control
  3. Ride-by-wire
  4. 3 riding modes: Road, Rain, Sport
  5. Torque-assist clutch
  6. Underseat USB charging socket
  7. Engine immobilizer
  8. Fully adjustable Show forks up front, Ohlins at back

That’s an impressive list of electronic and mechanical wizardry, but it’s also a list of electronic and mechanical wizardry that can fuck up. I think Triumph is betting on the fact that most Thruxton R owners will never take their bikes across the front gate, keeping it tucked and covered deep inside the garage, to be uncovered roughly once a month for bike shows or revving to friends.

And that’s where the insane 16,000 km service interval will come in handy. Based on the usage pattern of people who’ll want to buy one and be able to afford it, they’ll never really have to take it to a service station in their lifetime. That’s basically the definition of a dream machine.

Stay tuned for a ride review, which’ll happen as soon as Vimal Sumbly reads this article. Coincidently, the day I get an invitation from Triumph is also prophesied to be the day pigs shall fly, so keep your fingers crossed and look up for flying bacon.

comments (4)

  • Reply

    June 6, 2016

    Though Triumph india Is known to Disguise after the poor after sales and not at all satisfactory answer even from the company officials on the detuned and some other Issues.Even if you buy their So called CBU (CHUTIYA BANAYA UNIT) what they need to do is to train their Customer service people first.

  • Reply

    June 5, 2016

    Mmmm..Flying Bacon

  • Reply

    June 3, 2016

    Lol, what a shit name.

  • Reply

    June 3, 2016

    Haha, you make me laugh man.

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